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Mindset Coach Online Business Self Development

Four Steps To Overcoming Fear

Let’s talk about fear for a little bit.

We all have it from time to time. We all have been debilitated as a result of it, at one time or another. Some of us may struggle with it daily.

It’s part and parcel of what makes us human.

Never forget that – we have and experience fear because we are human!

I have written about fear before and have explained its purpose and meaning. If you missed this blog on how Jimmy Chin is my “fear guru”, it’s worth a read.

Today though, I will give you four steps towards overcoming your fear, but first, I want to start with this awesome quote.

I am starting here because, in a nutshell, the only way to overcome fear is to face it head-on.

Tony Robbins : Dance with fear

Face it, or dance with it!

  1. Find out what this fear is

What is it specifically that you are scared of? Is there a time of day or a place that this fear might raise its nasty head? In what situation might this fear present itself?

Be super specific about understanding this fear.

Let me give you my own example.

At the beginning of my journey into the online space, I was rearing and tearing to go! Nothing was going to stop me.

Fear did though.

I was so busy learning new skills in my newfound career of entrepreneurship. I used this excuse to be productive around learning to avoid taking action in my business.

You see, it was never about the perceived lack of knowledge because we learn as we go, don’t we? When I was honest with myself, I was afraid to be seen online.

What would my friends and family say? What would my school friends think? What would my past colleagues and peers think about me?

The truth is, I have had positive feedback from all of these people who I was so worried about. Another truth is that if I hadn’t received positive feedback, my fear was never about them but always about me and my own belief in what I was doing.

What I am doing.

2. Embrace the fear

When you have been honest about the fear, don’t take a step back from it because it is genuine. Please don’t dismiss it, and certainly don’t retreat from it.

Have a dance with it, as Tony Robbins suggests, because whether people love you, hate you or are on the fence about you, you will always draw your tribe to you.

I firmly believe that.

When I went online and started to become more visible, with my own face showing up, nothing about my reality really changed much.

Yes, inside, I was on this magnificent high because I had moved a step forward to my personal goals. Even more incredibly, I started to show up more authentically and more productively for people who I wanted to serve.

Fear is a natural reaction, and it wants to serve you by protecting you and keeping you safe. In my reality, though, it would have held me back, and if I were to think of a ‘worst-case scenario, my fear of showing up online would not have killed me.

I can’t think of anything worse than that.

3. Action – its always about action!

Think of yourself on the very first day of work. For me, it was in a bank.

At my young age of 17, I started working in the autoteller department in a large bank in South Africa. I was entrusted with loads of cash and a duty to replenish these machines daily.

I was scared to leave the relative safety of school. I was scared to work with people I didn’t know. I was scared of many things.

It was absolutely new, and I had no idea about the expectations placed on me directly out of school.

But I learned. I grew into that role and developed skills that were a brilliant foundation for me.

The fear subsided, and I started to enjoy the work, and as I progressed in my corporate career, it was a roller coaster of fear and overcoming fear.

Much the same as my journey into entrepreneurship.

The critical thing to remember about your own progress in your respective careers and your own personal journeys is that it took and takes action to kill that fear monster.

Plain and simply – action.

4. Reinforce your new feeling

The final step, now that you have specified your real fear embraced and had a dance with it and taken action around that fear, stop.

Stop and let that new powerful feeling take over. Remember this moment and how it feels. Never forget this feeling.

Reinforcing your newfound feeling is the momentum that you will need when you are faced with another fear. It is, after all, a cycle of sorts. As you level up, as you take on new challenges, as you step into the unknown, fear will always be there to try to keep you safe.

It’s a natural tendency for us as humans.

For me, I have this massive sense of freedom as I step into pockets of fear and overcome them. It is also never as scary as I thought going into the ring with fear.

A very important aspect of fear to always remember is this:

If you were to sit down with many folks who talk about their fears, I would suggest that it would be common to hear of their fear of rejection, embarrassment, failure, success, disappointment, and the unknown.

Its a beautiful thing because it what makes us all human.

F.E.A.R = False Evidence Appearing Real

F.E.A.R = Find. Embrace. Action. Reinforce

Categories
Self Development

Jimmy Chin is My Fear Management Guru.

Who’s Yours?

At the moment, I am in a state of flux.

I am reflecting on how far that I have come since the beginning of this unprecedented year; I am focusing on what needs to be done in 2021 to progress my goals; and being honest, I am also looking forward to a change of scenery and heading off for a much-needed break.

But over the past few days, I have struggled with my daily tasks.

I have questioned and reassessed my goals, and then re-established them as my driving force. I have sat in states of inertia worrying about whether what I am doing, will get me to my next set of goals. Some ideas I have been working on, have been sent to the trash bin only to be saved again moments later.

It has been an uncomfortable and confusing time.

It got me thinking about fear… and Jimmy Chin.

It started with me feeling vulnerable.

I am aware of how this feeling of vulnerability can permeate into my life. It starts by not feeling too bad—a slight discomfort.

If left unchecked, though, it has the potential to derail your personal and business efforts completely. I am most aware of this.

Even though I understood this uncomfortable feeling, which I know is completely irrational, I couldn’t help but surrender to it for a little while.

The more I thought about where I am going, the more vulnerable I felt. Suddenly there it was….this horrid emotion that we all love to hate.

Fear.

I was scared of the next steps that I had to take. Scared of coming out of another comfort zone that I have created for myself.

The reality is that I have drawn myself a line in the concrete. It’s there. My core values drive me now.

There is no going back from where I have come. Fear cannot be a driving force for where I need to be.

So I started thinking a little more rationally about fear in general.

Fear helps to keep us alive.

It raises our awareness of our surroundings, trying to keep us safe in times of trouble. It manages our fight or flight response.

If you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses, it is awesome in managing which people you interact with too. It is quite useful when it’s rational.

When you know it’s completely irrational, fear cripples you.

It was crippling me, so there was just one more thing to do.

Watch a movie!

I love a movie that celebrates the greatness of the human spirit.

I am not a climber by any means, but I find the movies that celebrate this particular skill to be some of the most awe-inspiring movies ever. I have in my personal collection various documentaries on Alpinists that have summited peaks all over the world, but my favourite is Meru.

If ever you want to witness the awesome power of the human spirit, this is an epic. Jimmy Chin, Renan Ozturk, and Conrad Anker set off on a mission to scale the Shark’s Fin. What unfolds is a demonstration of utter guts, pure self-belief, unconditional trust, and a beautiful friendship.

Not to mention facing fear.

Jimmy Chin, was interviewed for an article in National Geographic and discussed this very thing. Fear and its effect on our lives.

Now when you think about Jimmy’s job, undoubtedly he faces fear every time he sets off on an expedition. His fear is rational, though.

He scales the highest and most dangerous mountains across the globe, and takes his camera with him! So, it’s not just the climb he makes; it’s his activity of taking some of the most breathtaking photos you will ever see, from vantage points that only a privileged few will summit.

We often imagine that other accomplished people don’t have the same emotions as we do. They know it all and have the experience to get them through, so I was comforted by Jimmy’s comment in this article.

“But I definitely experience fear, trepidation and anxiety. It’s just a matter of not letting the unknown overwhelm me, and doing all I can to plan and prepare for things I can control.”

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/2020/04/coronavirus-filmmaker-and-mountaineer-jimmy-chin-on-facing-the-unknown/

Irrational fear calls us to action.

Fear then, especially when it’s irrational, can and must be managed.

If Jimmy Chin has this mindset about his own fear, which you can classify as being rational, my irrational fears of simply taking my next steps in my business are ludicrous.

In reality, fear is calling me to action!

My planning and preparation is the right move to be taking. Yes, it is offering up some deep thinking which often challenges my self-belief. However, when I am thinking clearly, its activities that I know I can do. I just have to do them.

Taking some time out is even better for my preparation too.

My fear highlights gaps that I can either chose to fill or leave them as they are. The question is whether any of those gaps are, in fact, pointing towards my business strategy. Is filling those gaps driving me towards my desired outcome?

I can’t imagine what Jimmy would be doing if he were not an Alpinist. I am sure he can’t imagine it either.

He is most certainly living his best life, living the life of his dreams. Living authentically and aligned with his personal core values.

I am too then. How marvellous is fear!

Title Photo by mirsad mujanovic from Pexels